Confessions of a Sensible teenage Witch
by fan with a short attention span
Summary: Hermione is sick of all the girls in her dorm, she can't wait to leave Hogwarts and start a real life.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is a Hermione sort of story. I have no idea where it's going, so give me ideas! **

"Kiss me fool!"

"Why, your lips are so soft."

"Well what can I say? Can't live without my strawberry chap stick"…

I have had enough. I couldn't stand watching that girl make out with a sheet of glass any longer. Lavender Brown was having one of her usual conversations with herself in the mirror. Most of them involved her invisible boyfriend.

I walked out of the bathroom and into the girls' dormitory. Parvati Patil was at her desk reading one of her fruity romantic novels. This time it was _The Lost Heart of a Wandering Witch._ I casually straightened my bedspread while watching her with a grin on my face.

She had a dreamy expression with a vague smile. Every now and again she would hold the book to her chest, close her eyes and sigh. I didn't know whether to laugh or throw up.

I flung myself onto my bed and looked across the room. Leisha Holsha was comforting a hysteric Liz McManus.

"Why…hic…would…he …dump…me?" cried Liz

"Maybe he just doesn't like you like he used to anymore" said Leisha, patting Liz's back.

"But everyone likes me!" howled Liz burying her hands in a fresh flow of tears.

"No no, what I meant was, he likes you too much. So much that… erm… he thinks your too good for him...um…Yeah that's it." Leisha smiled, obviously pleased with her therapy "skills".

"You really think so?" sniffed Liz.

"Yeah, what's say we go and get a big bowl of strawberry ice cream!"

"I'm kinda in the mood for chocolate…"

I rolled my eyes and peered over at the new girl, Meygan Carp. She was sitting up in her bed writing a list. I scooted over to get a glimpse at what she was writing.

Monday

Breakfast- _Cereal _

Recess- _Nothing_

Lunch- _Nothing_

Dinner- _Vegetables_

Meagan was definitely looking rather thin. She's the only one in the dorm who needs _serious_ help. She didn't really have any friends. All the girls swarmed over the new girl, as they do, but she politely and quietly abandoned them. I don't think the girls ever gave her a second thought.

"Hey Megan, what are you writing?" I asked her.

She jumped and hurriedly stuffed the list into her pocket.

"Oh…n…nothing Hermione, just some notes for potions, you know Snape and his pop quizzes" Megan laughed nervously and quickly got up and hurried to the bathroom.

I flopped back down on my bed, staring into space. I'm stuck in a dorm full of pathetic, desperate, vain, brainless and anorexic girls. That's why they don't like me, because I'm the only sane one. I couldn't care less; I've got my own friends, even if they happen to be boys.

A sharp scream brought me back to earth. Parvati's head snapped up from her book, Lavender and Megan popped their heads out from the bathroom and Leisha had her hand over her mouth, pointing at Liz.

"Ew, ew, eeeeew! Get it off, get it off!" Liz was running around in circles with something large and green on top of her head.

"Hold still!" Leisha yelled. But of course Liz did not hold still, if anything grew more frantic.

Leisha grabbed her long wand and started swinging it at the green lump on Liz's head. She jabbed the stick at the lump but accidentally poked Liz in the eye. Leisha was so determined to rescue Liz; she hadn't realized what she had done, so she kept up with her crazy swings.

The green lump gave a terrified croak. _Trevor!_Neville's green toad was clutching on to Liz's pink headband for dear life. He was flung forwards and slid down onto her face. Liz gave a muffled yelp of surprise and became more panicked.

Leisha closed her eyes and swung her wand blindly and more crazily than ever. She whacked Liz several times on the shoulder and poked her in the stomach.

Liz tried to speak between Leisha's hits "Stop-ow-hitting me-ow! Crazy bitch!"

Leisha opened her eyes and gave Liz a sharp jab in the ribs. I don't think she was aiming for Trevor anymore.

I must say, it was quite amusing watching Liz's dilemma but to avoid Trevor being bludgeoned by Leisha's wand, I finally came to the rescue.

"_Accio Trevor!_" And with a flick of my wand, Trevor flew to my hand, unharmed. He gave a grateful croak. Liz stopped jumping up and down and Leisha gave her one last poke.

"Well I expect Neville will want his pet toad back," I announced before walking out of the girls dormitory with great dignity.

**AN: ...what was that? Oh well, please review. **


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: All my reviewers have inspired me to keep writing so heres my second chapter…

I marched down the stairs with Trevor in my hands, glad to get away from the girls. The common room was deserted; the boys were nowhere to be seen. They were obviously plotting something.

I ascended the stairs to the boy's dormitory to see if that's where they were. I knocked on the door.

"Cover up, boys!" I bellowed through the door.

There were no scuffles or shouts so I opened it cautiously, just in case. The room was empty and looked like a bomb had hit it. I pushed some clothes aside with my feet and started to make a pathway to Neville's bed.

I placed Trevor on Neville's bedside table. Trevor gave a loud sob. Wait…toads don't cry! I stood still and listened…there it was again! It was definitely a human. I searched the room and under all the beds.

I kicked a pair of pyjamas out of my way, "Ow!" it cried. Wait…pyjamas don't feel pain! I inspected the articles of clothing more carefully and found that there was a boy in the pyjamas. _Neville!_ Neville took one look at me and burst into tears. I couldn't imagine anything more pathetic; a boy in his nighties curled up on the floor, crying while a girl mistook him for some dirty washing and began kicking him.

"I…didn't think…you would find me on the floor" said Neville between sobs. What was I supposed to say to that?

"Apparently this room isn't messy enough…what's the matter Neville?" I said as I crouched down next to him.

Neville started to whimper. "Mal…Malfoy cornered me into a classroom and…" He trailed off and started to rock side to side.

I knew it had something to do with Malfoy. Damn his oily hide!

"Snape!" Neville began again. He shuddered at the name. "…Snape walked by the classroom door…"

"What did he do?" I asked soothingly, stroking Neville's hair. Neville smiled and closed his eyes. He seemed to be getting a little too much pleasure out of this, so I stopped.

"He did…Well he didn't do anything!" Neville cried burying his face in his hands. "Just nodded at Malfoy and walked on!"

I couldn't take much more of this inter house dispute. I couldn't wait until I could leave Hogwarts and start a real life, away from all this kind of garbage.

"What do you think, Hermione?" Neville asked.

"I can't take much more of this inter house dispute!" I cried, "I can't wait until I can leave Hogwarts and start a real life, away from all this kind of garbage."

Neville nodded slowly and sat up. He looked out the window and at the morning. "Hogwarts is my least favourite place in the world, and I hate summer holidays."

I was taken aback by this comment. Neville had always seemed a little sad, but I never thought he was this depressed. He's practically telling me he doesn't want to live anymore.

"Would you like to come to breakfast with me?" I asked, standing up.

"Yes please!" Neville said happily, scrambling to his feet. "I'll just get changed" his face went red and his eyes darted from me to the door.

I got the hint and walked out almost breaking my neck by tripping on a pile of schoolbooks. I closed the door behind me and leant against it. A few boys walked past eyeing me warily, but I just smiled and waved.

There was a loud thud and then laughter that came from the staircase.

"Ha ha…lookit Harry, I fell UP the stairs, ha ha…"

Ron appeared at the foot of the stairs, laughing uncontrollably while Ginny and Harry were trying to help him up.

"What happened to Ron?" I asked. Ron looked at me and laughed even harder.

"Malfoy" said Harry darkly, trying to heave Ron up the steps by the arm. "But Ginny did a brilliant Bogey Bat Hex on the git and his two boyfriends"

Ginny smiled modestly. Ron broke free and gave Harry a noogie.

"Aw, I love you mate." he said his voice similar to a drunken slur. "In a non sexual way though." he added. "I love you too 'Mione" he said grinning at me. I blushed and turned away.

"Ok, that's enough" Harry said detangling himself from Ron. "Hermione do you know how to fix him?"

"No" I said. "But I'll go to the library and find a book."

"Please hurry!" said Ginny as Ron was attempting to do a waltz with her.

I ran down the stairs and to the portrait hole.

"Hermione! Wait!" a voice shouted

I whirled around. Neville was hurrying towards me; his face was pink from running down the stairs.

"What about breakfast?" He panted.

"Not right now Neville, I have to go to the library"

"That's what everyone says" Neville whispered. I pretended not to hear and climbed through the portrait hole leaving Neville looking heartbroken.

**AN: This chapter wasn't really planned I just thought stuff up as I wrote. Please review. **


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Hello everyone, the little paper clip popped up when I opened Microsoft word and it told me not to run with scissors. I thought that was mildly amusing…anyway heres my 3rd chapter! **

**Another AN: The story is set on Saturday. Malfoy attacked Neville Friday night when Neville got lost. Just so you know. **

I ran down the hallway that leads to the library. I was almost there when I took a trip headfirst to the ground. I could here snickers around me.

"What's the hurry Mudblood?" drawled a voice.

With as much dignity as I could muster I stood back up, brushing the dust off my clothes. Malfoy was leaning against the wall accompanied with Crabbe and Goyle.

"Tripping someone over, Malfoy, you've stooped to a new low." I said, casually rearranging my hair. "Nearly as low as this" I kicked him hard in the right shin and strode away.

There were whoops and cheers. A jet of orange light came from behind me, narrowly missing my ear. The crowd that was building up fell silent. I whirled around and pulled my wand out of my pocket.

"Would you like me to kick your ass Malfoy, or would you like another bat-bogey hex from Ginny?" The crowd laughed and pointed at Malfoy.

"That was child's magic," said Malfoy, his face going slightly pink. "It was easily fixed."

"Oh, and wasn't childish of you to hex Ron and Neville" I said sarcastically. "Or to do it when my backs turned. Are going to have a fair duel or are your two boyfriends going to have to do all the dirty work."

Crabbe and Goyle blinked stupidly for a few seconds then anger slowly spread across their faces. Malfoy raised his wand his expression twisted with fury.

"Miss Granger and Mr. Malfoy! What on earth are you doing?" screeched Mconagall, I recognised the voice instantly. "Wands drawn and in the hallway!"

I opened my mouth to speak but Mconagall cut me off.

Twenty points from each of your houses and a detention." She said swiftly. "I will see what Professor Snape can organize. Now get out of my sight, all of you!" She made shooing gestures to the crowd.

Malfoy shoved his wand back into his pocket and walked off, muttering darkly. I stomped furiously into the library and began ripping books off their shelves. Madame Pince glared at me.

I sat down with a large and dusty volume. I felt calmer with each page I turned. Reading always had a soothing effect on me…

**A/N: Wow that chapter was short…Still need ideas guys, I'm struggling. I really have no idea where it's gonna go, the plot will come to me, I just need inspiration! Hehe, please review. **


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